The Advice from My Father That Helped Us during my time as a Brand-New Dad

"In my view I was simply trying to survive for twelve months."

Ex- reality TV star Ryan Libbey expected to manage the difficulties of being a father.

However the reality soon proved to be "utterly different" to his expectations.

Severe health complications around the birth saw his partner Louise admitted to hospital. Suddenly he was forced into acting as her chief support while also caring for their newborn son Leo.

"I was doing all the nights, every nappy change… every stroll. The job of both parents," Ryan shared.

After nearly a year he became exhausted. That was when a chat with his father, on a park bench, that helped him see he required support.

The straightforward phrases "You are not in a good spot. You must get assistance. What can I do to assist you?" created an opening for Ryan to talk openly, ask for help and regain his footing.

His situation is commonplace, but seldom highlighted. While the public is now more comfortable addressing the stress on mums and about postpartum depression, far less attention is paid about the difficulties fathers encounter.

'It's not weak to seek assistance

Ryan believes his struggles are part of a larger inability to communicate among men, who continue to hold onto damaging notions of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the fortress that just gets hit and stays upright time and again."

"It isn't a sign of weakness to request help. I failed to do that soon enough," he explains.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist specialising in mental health before and after childbirth, says men can be reluctant to admit they're struggling.

They can think they are "not justified to be requesting help" - particularly ahead of a mum and baby - but she emphasises their mental state is equally important to the unit.

Ryan's chat with his dad gave him the chance to request a break - taking a few days abroad, separate from the family home, to get a fresh outlook.

He understood he required a adjustment to consider his and his partner's emotional states in addition to the practical tasks of looking after a new baby.

When he opened up to Louise, he realised he'd missed "what she longed for" -reassuring touch and hearing her out.

'Parenting yourself

That realisation has transformed how Ryan perceives parenthood.

He's now composing Leo regular notes about his journey as a dad, which he hopes his son will see as he gets older.

Ryan believes these will enable his son to better grasp the language of emotion and interpret his approach to fatherhood.

The notion of "parenting yourself" is something musician Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four.

During his childhood Stephen did not have stable male guidance. Despite having an "incredible" bond with his dad, deep-held difficult experiences caused his father had difficulty managing and was "present intermittently" of his life, complicating their relationship.

Stephen says suppressing feelings resulted in him make "terrible choices" when in his youth to change how he felt, finding solace in alcohol and substances as escapism from the hurt.

"You turn to behaviours that aren't helpful," he notes. "They might short-term modify how you are feeling, but they will eventually cause more harm."

Advice for Managing as a First-Time Parent

• Talk to someone - when you are overwhelmed, tell a trusted person, your partner or a professional what you're going through. This can to ease the pressure and make you feel more supported.
• Remember your hobbies - continue with the things that made you feel like the person you were before the baby arrived. Examples include exercising, seeing friends or playing video games.
• Don't ignore the body - nutritious food, physical activity and when you can, sleep, all contribute in how your emotional health is doing.
• Connect with other new dads - sharing their stories, the challenges, and also the joys, can help to normalise how you're feeling.
• Remember that seeking help is not failure - taking care of you is the optimal method you can care for your household.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen expectedly struggled to accept the death, having had no contact with him for many years.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's determined not to "repeat the pattern" with his boy and instead provide the safety and emotional support he did not receive.

When his son threatens to have a meltdown, for example, they do "shaking the feelings out" together - processing the frustrations constructively.

Each of Ryan and Stephen explain they have become improved and more well-rounded men because they confronted their struggles, changed how they express themselves, and figured out how to regulate themselves for their kids.

"I am now more capable of… processing things and managing things," says Stephen.

"I wrote that in a message to Leo recently," Ryan shares. "I said, sometimes I think my purpose is to guide and direct you on life, but actually, it's a two-way conversation. I am discovering just as much as you are through this experience."